Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
