i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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