Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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