just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize