Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
well you can't waste a boner
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
