so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
