If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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