:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize