There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
