Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
