Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My vagina is officially offended.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
