I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
