Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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