I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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