.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
