the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
