she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
