What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize