So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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