Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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