a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I will be naked everywhere
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
