id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
