forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Im part way to drunk.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
