I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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