did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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