I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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