I think I died a long time ago.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
