he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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