I molested 6 butterflies tonight
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
