I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
