There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize