Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
