She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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