Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this boner is exhausting
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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