Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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