I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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