I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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