it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
