he puts the penis in happiness.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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