We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
