why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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