Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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