singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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