dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
