she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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