She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you didnt know i had herpes?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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