Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Randomize
