Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This is my gift to your gina
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize