I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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