I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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