If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
