can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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