My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
