Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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