what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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