You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize