On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize
