I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
