i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
how does that bad decision feel?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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