somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The power of my boobs compel you
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
