Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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