I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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