Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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