Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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