69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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