So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
