Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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