I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
