so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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